Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Learning To Trust

Learning To Trust
Some people may think that trust just happens. Well to some people it may just happen but for me it comes with learning. Much learning. Every time I think of trusting at the point when I think I am trusting I can  feel doubt creep in. I am continuing to have a hard time at work. I get called off a lot. Almost every time lately that I am scheduled to work I get a call to stay home. The census is down and all of us have been getting called off. So I pray... Then I try taking it into my own hands and apply for a job at the hospital where I used to work and the manager offered me the job but three weeks later and HR still hasn't called me. Well maybe I am rushing God. My bills are due and none have been late yet but soon they will be if things don't change. Oh God! forgive me... When I have given it to you I am now trying to take it back and handle things on my own. Well today and for the last week I have had this feeling like God is going to do something great for me. I know that if his word is true (and it is) then all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. I do love the Lord so why am I fretting? I will let you know how this works out...I have purposed in my heart to trust so next time I start to whine about my status I am going to purposely pray for someone else. There devil you have it. I am learning to trust. God has never, never, never let me down...

2 Kings Chapter 4

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Lord Is My Shepherd

The Lord is my Shepherd
To be totally honest lately I have been a little stressed about work. I have been getting called off a lot. Last night they called me to stay home. I told them that I really need to work. They told me to come. I got to work and within 5 minutes of being clocked in they told me to go home. I left the hospital and went to church and after being there for about 10 minutes my phone rang and they called me back to work. It feels like turmoil. I was so upset so with tears in my eyes I drove back to work. When I drove up I was just sitting in my car praying. I remember saying But God do you even hear me? I cried and explained how I know that millions of people have more important needs that mine. I just started saying The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want and then while quoting this to myself I realized that I had forgot part of it so crying now I am saying what I know. I said Lord! I don't even remember this. I went in and took a patient. My night was ok and around 2 am a little lady who was very confused and talking out of her head all night all of a sudden said "God is here" at which time she started saying The Lord is my Shepherd". I stopped dead in my tracks as I realized that yes God was speaking to me. Then when she got to the part I had forgot she stopped and started over.
A coincidence? I don't think so.    The Lord is my Shepherd.


Psalms Chapter 23

1(A Psalm of David.) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

He Cares

He Cares
I haven't posted in a while I have been working and I have been sick but today...
I am feeling some better. So many good things have been happening in my life. Things that
reiterate to me that He Cares. My daughter Julie called to tell me that the Marines has offered
her early retirement and that she is moving to my city. Wow! caught by surprise that is what it was. From out of nowhere an answer to my prayers in a way I would have never imagined. To have her here...to be able to be part of my grandchildrens lives. To be able in some way to teach them what it means to live for Jesus... I am just blown away as I thank God from the bottom of my heart. Do I think that this is a gift from him? Of course I do again I say He Cares.   My heart is full again today I thank him for hearing my humble prayers for taking care of my needs.

Luke 12:27 |
Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Just Thinking

 Just Thinking
I am just sitting here thinking about all of the good things in my life. The more I think about it the more I realize how blessed I really am. I have a good job. The people there are nice enough. My husband loves me in spite of me getting up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes. My dog loves me even tho I spank him and send him to the yard when he has an accident in the floor. Accident I say....I really know it was on purpose. Sitting here once again and wondering what more can I do to win souls. How can I reach someone. I ask Benny if he would go door to door with me to invite people to church. NO! is kinda the response I got not quite so harsh though. I have a burden and don't know what to do with it I just know that I need to do something. I have to do something. The other day I met a man with lung cancer which has went to his brain. He is in his right mind and while I was talking to him he ask me to pray for him. I said how about now he nodded his head yes and said now. I laid my hand on the site in his right lung and I prayed. I did not necessarily pray for a healing but more I prayed that he would not be in pain anymore. I prayed in the name of Jesus that the root of that cancer would shrivel up and die. At the sound of that name the man began to use his hands, something he had not been able to do in weeks. He could all of a sudden feed himself. He cried, I cried. I don't know the full outcome and I may never meet him again but I do know that on that day God delivered a miracle because someone believed in that name...The name of Jesus.  Just sitting here thinking what could we do if we really believe? If we used that name to the extent that it was meant to be used. I want to use it more. To call on it for all things. If I stump my toe...In the name of Jesus...If I need financial help...In the name of Jesus....If my head hurts...In the name of Jesus...If I meet someone on the street who don't know Jesus...In the name of Jesus....What can we do through the power of that name....Just thinking

John 14:14

   If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Just Fishing

Just Fishing
Today we went fishing. We started at about 2pm and fished for several hours. We had the perfect bait. We fished with worms and then resorted to fly fishing with dry flies and popping bugs. The
weather was just right. The temperature was cool the wind was still. The sun was at our backs and I couldn't have ask for a better day but apparently the fish did not think so. We did not bring home any fish. What I learned was that even tho all things seem just right sometimes you just simply do not catch fish. We put forth the right effort. We planned each strategy. We went on the best day. Our homework done and yet no fish. In comparison to be fishers of men we study, we live the life before them, we pray,we fast. We hunger to see souls saved. After all is done and we see that everything is in order sometimes we just leave empty handed without any being won. But there is always tomorrow. What I learned through all of this is Just keep on fishing. Tomorrow will be better and when all is said and done we will land a great catch. We started to leave and an older gentleman was sitting on the bumper of his truck just fishing. Like us he caught nothing. He was mostly enjoying his day when I spoke. I ask him if he goes to church to which he said yes I visit here and there. Smiling inside I said well how about visiting our church. "I sure will" he said. We pulled up the hill to tie down the boat and the man drove up and waved out the window as he drove off. See you next month he said. I will see you at church... Who knew that on this ordinary day of fishing I would end up fishing for men...Think I will just cast out there one more time. You just never know when the day will turn from catching nothing to catching something worth while.

Matthew 4:19

And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Spiritual Cravings

Spiritual Cravings
Curbing your cravings is like wanting to eat high calorie foods without restraint. I find the more I think of the things of God the more I want to think on those things and sadly vise versa. I have found myself lately wanting more of God therefore I listen to christian music. I pray under my breath when I am at work. I pray for others at divers times. My thoughts are often on good things. I like it like that. I do this on purpose. A confession...I really like watching ID on TV but recently I have felt bad about it because no good thing is there. It is about murders and really bad people and sadness. I had got to where I watched it ALOT. So in my quest to win souls I started feeling a twinge in my spirit about it. A twinge that I do not want to ignore. Why do I want to feed my spiritual self that kinda stuff. So I am on a fast. I am fasting ID. I am intentionally being careful what I allow myself to view. How can I watch things like that and really be what God wants of me. Will I ever watch it again? I don't know but serving God is one day at a time and for now I choose to give up things that does not help me to achieve being the best that I can be in His service. And on I go doing whatever it takes...Conquering and molding my Spiritual Cravings.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things 

Sunday, September 23, 2012


Sometimes God picks us for use to help others. Just like when we pick flowers. I don't know about you but when I want some fresh picked flowers I go out there and look over all of them. I pick the brightest the most fragrant. I usually want colorful ones which are strong and look like they will last a while. But sometimes I will see one that is not so perfect. One that I know may only last a few hours. One that though pale and weak will compliment those bold bright ones. That is just like God to even find good in the weakest. To pick me and even when I am weak and use me anyway. It is a wonderful life serving the King. I don't have to be the best...His spirit in me makes me the best that I can be. Another good thing is that when I am at my weakest wilted moment he breaths on me and picks me up and makes me whole again. When I am down in the deepest darkest valley he scoops me up in his strong arms and holds me up until the sun is shining again. Sometimes we just need to standstill and realize that we are right where he wants us.

Luke 12:27

   Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Today is a Great Day

Today is a Great Day
Today I still serve the master. Today through its little ups and downs I find reason to praise. No everything is not right as for as comfort or things being perfect is concerned. But today even though we have a hole in our boat, even though my daughter forgot to pay my house payment and they called wanting a to know why, today even though Wal-Mart was sold out of fishing crickets, today even though when I went to clean my carpet my carpet cleaner did not work, today even though I am hungry...
Today is a Great Day
Today is another day which God gave me breath and let me be in my right mind..(as right as that may be.)
Another day to praise.

Psalms 121:1

  I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Prayers Answered

Prayers Answered
Sometimes I wonder which prayers I have prayed that really have come true. Some of them are
obvious while some are hidden. Today I was painting and praying again for Anniston, for our world and for God to heal our land. Benny came into the room and I ask him if I could teach him a Bible study. He said yes but what he said next caught me off guard. "Will you teach me to pray too" he ask. Of course I said. I guess some things I just take for granted like praying and just instinctively knowing what words to say. I fail to consider that some people struggle with words as they pray. One of the things I have been praying of late is that God will put the words in my mouth which need to be said. Sometimes I don't have the knowledge or understanding to pray the right things. I am not an elaborate speaker and my words are few but since praying this way I have noticed a difference in the things I ask for. I have been asking for things I have never mentioned before. Again as I sit here I see that map. The one of the city we are trying to reach. Each time I look at it I remember to pray for souls there. I noticed a small airplane in the corner suggesting an airport I am sure. It made me think to pray for God to send angels to Anniston. Angels, both warriors and reapers to help subdue the forces of the enemy.  Cover us Oh God and help us to be effective as we live for you, as we share you with our world. 
Happy Birthday Benny I love you

James 5:16

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

My Witness My Voice

My Witness My Voice
Today I decided to go shopping. On my way there I was just praying and asking how I could be a witness of my love for Jesus. How can I spread his name abroad. Not to some foreign land but in Oxford,Al.  I noticed that laying there in the car were some business cards with the logo in big black letters. It simply said Jesus. The name of my church and the contact info on the back. I have been wanting to teach a Bible study or just invite people to church but I am so shy.  I picked those cards up and they seemed to glow in my hand. I know that they really did not but it did seem that way. I quickly put them in my wallet I did not know why. As I got out of my car in my hand was a card. As I walked up to the car beside mine and gently slipped it into the window stripping. I said a quick prayer and went in. I shopped at three stores and in each dressing room I left a card. Will they be thrown away....Maybe.....but maybe not. Finally I left a card in a shopping cart so lets see that is five potential souls. Who knows at least I did something. I know my efforts are for good. Maybe one day I will know the end results and just maybe I will be surprised.
Isaiah 62:6
I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the LORD, keep not silence,


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Reality and The Responsibility

The reality... is that I am human. Ha! you might say....Well I am. I work nights and I went to sleep about 830 am yesterday. The Responsibility...By noon I was awake. I was kinda surprised that when I woke up it was to find that my pillow was soaked. Not from some liquid which I had spilled but it was from tears. I found myself crying once again for my children and the city of Anniston. This feeling won't last forever but for now it is necessary. Lord please help me to be an instrument and help me to do whatever I can to win someone to you. Help me I pray to be molded by your will. Help me to reach the place where I can in all sincerity say Not my will but thine.

Psalms 34:18

   The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Prayer and Fasting

Prayer and Fasting
Fasting hurts. It is not fun or glamorous. It makes you cry and feel weird, it can even cause many other feelings to emerge but the feeling desired by fasting is a closeness to God. Fasting is no good without prayer. If you fast without prayer you are literally just going without food. In the Bible you find many examples of fasting, today it is the same and has the same effect. It makes you humble at which point it makes you want to pray which in return gets God's attention. A depth in prayer can be reached during fasting which can not be reached in any other way. Can we pray without fasting...Of course we can. Does God hear us? Of course he does. Does he answer our prayers if we just pray...Certainly he does and it is a good thing because many people do not fast. Let me interject that some people may desire to fast but for health reasons they can not. When someone is admitted to the hospital if they are very sick the doctor will order NPO...nothing by mouth. Yes even to those who are diabetic.  OUCH...Here is my disclaimer...I am not asking you to fast. Do seek a doctors advice before fasting. But if you are like me some spiritual things are more important than issues which may arise from fasting. I will enter into it at my own risk and that is what I advise you to do...Enter into fasting at your own risk knowing that your body will suffer. If you don't believe me just skip breakfast, and then dinner trust me you will think your throat has been cut.  
When you endeavor on a fast you do not need to tell those around you that you are fasting. Some will pick up on it just because they notice that you are not eating. I don't think is is wrong to answer their questions in honesty but sometimes you can simply answer by saying I just don't want anything right now. It is true because your spirit hungers for holiness and a in depth walk with God. 
I share this with you only as an example and I don't think there is enough out there about this tender subject. I used to fast at least three days a week. I have been on three day fast,a seven day fast,a twenty one day fast which I failed at, and one time in my life I did fast 40 days. Did I lose weight yes of course but that was not at all the purpose as it is not the purpose now. I desire a move of God. I desire to see revival and most of all I want to see my children saved. I have a son who does not attend church anywhere. I have a daughter who only fleetingly thinks of God and then my other daughter does go to church and just needs to be in a deeper place in her walk with God. Why do I have a right to say this....well mainly I have the right because I am their mother who took them to church when they were young. Who tried to teach them about God and who prays for them daily. There is nothing in this life of equal importance. Did I fail them I think so. When they were growing up their dad did not go to church with us so they would beg to stay home with him instead of attending church. Without fail every Sunday they would come to me with the pleas "Mom do we have to go today" to which I would always answer "You don't have to go you get to go". That is still the way I feel today. Living for God is not a chore it is a privilege. It is an honor if you are chosen to be in service for the King of Kings. Is going to church important. Yes...You need to read the word of God but you also need to hear it. Back to fasting....Start small give up one meal...then two...then a whole day...24 hours then let God speak to you because I promise you will be speaking to him. Pray and when you pray..pray for me.....
If you want to turn your world upside down then fast....

Luke 2:37 - And she [was] a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served [God] with fastings and prayers night and day.

Mark 9:29 - And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.

Matthew 6:16 - Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Matthew 6:1-34 - Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.   
(Read More...)

Acts 13:3 - And when they had fasted and prayed, and laid [their] hands on them, they sent [them] away.

Mark 2:18 - And the disciples of John and of the Pharisees used to fast: and they come and say unto him, Why do the disciples of John and of the Pharisees fast, but thy disciples fast not?

Joel 2:12 - Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye [even] to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning:

Daniel 10:3 - I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.

Daniel 9:3 - And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes:

The Spirit of a Servant

The Spirit of a Servant
Tonight I was around a lot of people yet so all alone. Of course when they spoke to me I answered with a 
smile yet on the inside my heart was distraught. The place inside which felt sadness was so because as they sat around cursing and making obscene jokes I was talking to God about their needs, about the condition of their souls. I did not pray aloud as at other times but from my heart to his. I prayed for them and their families, I prayed because the world is a dark dark place. The funny thing is that they will never know that someone sitting across from them in this very public place was crying inside. I bow my knees and my heart. No one notices as I take the back of my hand and brush away the wetness as my eyes fill with tears and I go about my day to day at a public job. Today, this day I feel broken, no not as broken as I want to be as I need to be. I fast so that my flesh will allow the spiritual part of me to cry out, to travail, to weep for my world, my city,my family, your family. Am I crazy? No I yell no but as I read in the Bible about all those great men of God who carried the burden of their time I feel the calling to pray like never before. I feel upon me the spirit of a servant and also I pray that God will never let this spirit depart from me. I am consumed with a fire a passion for the lost. As I pass people on the street I whisper a prayer. As I see people in their cars my heart goes out to them. And then I weep as someone who has lost a loved one with deep groanings which can not be quenched. Again I am encapsulated with travail. And I do not want this spirit to depart. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Spirit of A Soldier

The Spirit of A Soldier
Today I was in my studio painting and I was so overcome with a spirit of prayer.
Today I had the spirit of a soldier, one ready for battle.
As I was crying aloud for my city for my children for the lost, my husband came in an 
in a state of panic said "What's Wrong" I said oh nothing I was just praying. He said I don't know about you. "I thought someone had died". 
I pondered this as I thought about what it means. It means that at times I am so sad about the lost. The ones
who have never felt the moving of the Holy Ghost, the ones who have not found truth in his name. That lovely name of Jesus. My hope is to be able to  share that name with someone today.
Have you been baptized in that name?

 Acts 2:38

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

A Spirit of Unrest

A Spirit of Unrest
Today I pray for a spirit of unrest. You might ask why would anyone ask for such a thing.  I feel the burden of the world on my shoulders. I shutter a cry from the depths of my being. Do I want it to go away? No by all means no. I long for a burden for the lost. For a calling to pray, a yearning that will not be quinched. So I cry, I pray that I
will never be comfortable when so many are lost. I hope that I will always feel that Spirt of Unrest as
long as there are souls who don't know Jesus. I pray that God will use me to reach someone,to tell them about bapism in Jesus name and that there is only one way. As I look at a map of Anniston, Al and the surrounding area I feel it consuming me... the burden to stand in the gap and cry out with groanings for souls...Any souls.

 Luke 23:28 But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children