What If ?

What If ?

What If ? What if I would do my best daily. What if I was thankful in all things like I should be. I am afraid I spend way too much time whining about the things I can't change. Things that do not matter anyway instead of being thankful for the things I should be acknowledging as important. Like how God in his infinite blessings once again just this week spared my Husbands life as he gasp for breath.

I found him just laying in the bathroom floor so out of breath. He was pale as a crisp white sheet and as cool. His breath came in wasp of deep deliberate inhalations. I looked at him with concern and ask what are you doing? He gazed at me and in a hushed voice that took way to much energy said I just could not make it back to my chair. Let me help you I said. As I took his arm and encouraged him to lean on me tears welled in my eyes but they were tears he would never see because at this time I will be brave. I took him to the hospital and was told he was in congestive heart failure. After a few days of treatment he is back home again and once again I am thankful for his life.   As I mull over these events I am reminded of how sometimes people are put in our lives for us to provide help. They are hurting, gasping within almost about to die spiritually. All they need is for us to offer to help them up and back to their chair. Back to that place where they can feel God one more time. They are sick spiritually and may be about to give up but need our prayers and our tears which they may never see. Our intercession that reaches heaven for others and grabs the attention once again of a God who cares deeply. He is just waiting for someone to call. Let it be me. Make me  more aware of my surrounding and the pain and needs of others. What If ? it is my voice he is waiting to hear. Speak Lord for I am listening.   

A Soldiers Heart

A Soldiers Heart

At 3:30 a.m. I got the call. It woke me up out of a dead sleep. At first my thoughts were fuzzy and I did not quite comprehend what was going on. My husband lay asleep beside me and I could hear the steady rhythmic sound of his breath as he slept. Awake now I gathered my thoughts. At first I thought I would just go back to sleep all the while knowing that was not going to happen. Yes I could have shrugged it off and drifted back into the welcome warmness and comfort of that place before dawn when you sleep the best but I knew I was being called to do something else. I quietly slipped out of bed. I headed for the living room to the corner of the sofa where I pray these days. I would love to kneel but must sit due to aching knees from years of work and misuse. I sat quietly in the dark with only the warm glow from an antique lamp and the aquarium. I thought about the time that God spoke to Samuel as a child and how at first he did not recognize the voice. The voice that would soon seem all to familiar. It is that voice that I hear now... No not audible but just as clear. I knew that I was being called to pray, for what I did not know. I just wait and listen and quietly utter words of thankfulness and praise and slowly, deliberately I am drawn into a place of deep things where battles are fought and won. I pray for souls and soon feel the deep groaning of the spirit. The groaning of travail. The same kind of groaning felt when babies are being born as the pain absorbs the whole body and leaves one to exhausted to move. I cherish this place because I realize that even though it is painful it is important to the kingdom of God. After a while my agony turns to tears and I feel that spirit wash over me cleansing me and I know that I have touched the very throne of God. I have heard it said that prayers never go away but instead roll over and over and are forever continual throughout eternity, that they ever remain before God reminding him of our every need, of souls who are important to us. I know that every soul is important even the ones we may not have a name for. That is why it is important to care...To cry out for the ones who we don't even know. To pray for the beggar on the street and the drug addict who is lost in the hopelessness of addiction. To pray for the children with no one to love them and the grandmother who has been left alone. You see...We don't have to know them but we know they exist and need us to stand in the gap for them that they might be saved. That is why we are here. To win them. To fight battles for them that they will never even know about until one day in heaven when all will be revealed. So God use me. Wake me up at three a.m.  Help me to never love sleep so much that I don't listen and shun the very thing that I have been called to do. Help me to fight this battle as the war rages on. Give us I pray souls by the thousands and hundreds of thousands. Let my vision be greater than the simple things that I see. Give me I pray a soldiers heart. 

1 Samuel 3:8

"and Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child."

A Spirit of Unrest

A Spirit of Unrest

Today I pray for a spirit of unrest. You might ask why would anyone ask for such a thing.  I feel the burden of the world on my shoulders. I shutter a cry from the depths of my being. Do I want it to go away? No by all means no. I long for a burden for the lost. For a calling to pray, a yearning that will not be quinched. So I cry, I pray that I

will never be comfortable when so many are lost. I hope that I will always feel that Spirt of Unrest as

long as there are souls who don't know Jesus. I pray that God will use me to reach someone,to tell them about bapism in Jesus name and that there is only one way. As I look at a map of Anniston, Al and the surrounding area I feel it consuming me... the burden to stand in the gap and cry out with groanings for souls...Any souls.

 Luke 23:28 But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children