A Soldiers Heart

A Soldiers Heart

At 3:30 a.m. I got the call. It woke me up out of a dead sleep. At first my thoughts were fuzzy and I did not quite comprehend what was going on. My husband lay asleep beside me and I could hear the steady rhythmic sound of his breath as he slept. Awake now I gathered my thoughts. At first I thought I would just go back to sleep all the while knowing that was not going to happen. Yes I could have shrugged it off and drifted back into the welcome warmness and comfort of that place before dawn when you sleep the best but I knew I was being called to do something else. I quietly slipped out of bed. I headed for the living room to the corner of the sofa where I pray these days. I would love to kneel but must sit due to aching knees from years of work and misuse. I sat quietly in the dark with only the warm glow from an antique lamp and the aquarium. I thought about the time that God spoke to Samuel as a child and how at first he did not recognize the voice. The voice that would soon seem all to familiar. It is that voice that I hear now... No not audible but just as clear. I knew that I was being called to pray, for what I did not know. I just wait and listen and quietly utter words of thankfulness and praise and slowly, deliberately I am drawn into a place of deep things where battles are fought and won. I pray for souls and soon feel the deep groaning of the spirit. The groaning of travail. The same kind of groaning felt when babies are being born as the pain absorbs the whole body and leaves one to exhausted to move. I cherish this place because I realize that even though it is painful it is important to the kingdom of God. After a while my agony turns to tears and I feel that spirit wash over me cleansing me and I know that I have touched the very throne of God. I have heard it said that prayers never go away but instead roll over and over and are forever continual throughout eternity, that they ever remain before God reminding him of our every need, of souls who are important to us. I know that every soul is important even the ones we may not have a name for. That is why it is important to care...To cry out for the ones who we don't even know. To pray for the beggar on the street and the drug addict who is lost in the hopelessness of addiction. To pray for the children with no one to love them and the grandmother who has been left alone. You see...We don't have to know them but we know they exist and need us to stand in the gap for them that they might be saved. That is why we are here. To win them. To fight battles for them that they will never even know about until one day in heaven when all will be revealed. So God use me. Wake me up at three a.m.  Help me to never love sleep so much that I don't listen and shun the very thing that I have been called to do. Help me to fight this battle as the war rages on. Give us I pray souls by the thousands and hundreds of thousands. Let my vision be greater than the simple things that I see. Give me I pray a soldiers heart. 

1 Samuel 3:8

"and Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child."

Just Fishing

Just Fishing

Today we went fishing. We started at about 2pm and fished for several hours. We had the perfect bait. We fished with worms and then resorted to fly fishing with dry flies and popping bugs. The

weather was just right. The temperature was cool the wind was still. The sun was at our backs and I couldn't have ask for a better day but apparently the fish did not think so. We did not bring home any fish. What I learned was that even tho all things seem just right sometimes you just simply do not catch fish. We put forth the right effort. We planned each strategy. We went on the best day. Our homework done and yet no fish. In comparison to be fishers of men we study, we live the life before them, we pray,we fast. We hunger to see souls saved. After all is done and we see that everything is in order sometimes we just leave empty handed without any being won. But there is always tomorrow. What I learned through all of this is Just keep on fishing. Tomorrow will be better and when all is said and done we will land a great catch. We started to leave and an older gentleman was sitting on the bumper of his truck just fishing. Like us he caught nothing. He was mostly enjoying his day when I spoke. I ask him if he goes to church to which he said yes I visit here and there. Smiling inside I said well how about visiting our church. "I sure will" he said. We pulled up the hill to tie down the boat and the man drove up and waved out the window as he drove off. See you next month he said. I will see you at church... Who knew that on this ordinary day of fishing I would end up fishing for men...Think I will just cast out there one more time. You just never know when the day will turn from catching nothing to catching something worth while.

Matthew 4:19

And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

Spiritual Cravings

Spiritual Cravings

Curbing your cravings is like wanting to eat high calorie foods without restraint. I find the more I think of the things of God the more I want to think on those things and sadly vise versa. I have found myself lately wanting more of God therefore I listen to christian music. I pray under my breath when I am at work. I pray for others at divers times. My thoughts are often on good things. I like it like that. I do this on purpose. A confession...I really like watching ID on TV but recently I have felt bad about it because no good thing is there. It is about murders and really bad people and sadness. I had got to where I watched it ALOT. So in my quest to win souls I started feeling a twinge in my spirit about it. A twinge that I do not want to ignore. Why do I want to feed my spiritual self that kinda stuff. So I am on a fast. I am fasting ID. I am intentionally being careful what I allow myself to view. How can I watch things like that and really be what God wants of me. Will I ever watch it again? I don't know but serving God is one day at a time and for now I choose to give up things that does not help me to achieve being the best that I can be in His service. And on I go doing whatever it takes...Conquering and molding my Spiritual Cravings.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things 

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes God picks us for use to help others. Just like when we pick flowers. I don't know about you but when I want some fresh picked flowers I go out there and look over all of them. I pick the brightest the most fragrant. I usually want colorful ones which are strong and look like they will last a while. But sometimes I will see one that is not so perfect. One that I know may only last a few hours. One that though pale and weak will compliment those bold bright ones. That is just like God to even find good in the weakest. To pick me and even when I am weak and use me anyway. It is a wonderful life serving the King. I don't have to be the best...His spirit in me makes me the best that I can be. Another good thing is that when I am at my weakest wilted moment he breaths on me and picks me up and makes me whole again. When I am down in the deepest darkest valley he scoops me up in his strong arms and holds me up until the sun is shining again. Sometimes we just need to standstill and realize that we are right where he wants us.

 

Luke 12:27

   Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these

Today is a Great Day

Today is a Great Day

Today I still serve the master. Today through its little ups and downs I find reason to praise. No everything is not right as for as comfort or things being perfect is concerned. But today even though we have a hole in our boat, even though my daughter forgot to pay my house payment and they called wanting a to know why, today even though Wal-Mart was sold out of fishing crickets, today even though when I went to clean my carpet my carpet cleaner did not work, today even though I am hungry...

Today is a Great Day

Today is another day which God gave me breath and let me be in my right mind..(as right as that may be.)

Another day to praise.

Psalms 121:1

  I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

Prayers Answered

Prayers Answered

Sometimes I wonder which prayers I have prayed that really have come true. Some of them are

obvious while some are hidden. Today I was painting and praying again for Anniston, for our world and for God to heal our land. Benny came into the room and I ask him if I could teach him a Bible study. He said yes but what he said next caught me off guard. "Will you teach me to pray too" he ask. Of course I said. I guess some things I just take for granted like praying and just instinctively knowing what words to say. I fail to consider that some people struggle with words as they pray. One of the things I have been praying of late is that God will put the words in my mouth which need to be said. Sometimes I don't have the knowledge or understanding to pray the right things. I am not an elaborate speaker and my words are few but since praying this way I have noticed a difference in the things I ask for. I have been asking for things I have never mentioned before. Again as I sit here I see that map. The one of the city we are trying to reach. Each time I look at it I remember to pray for souls there. I noticed a small airplane in the corner suggesting an airport I am sure. It made me think to pray for God to send angels to Anniston. Angels, both warriors and reapers to help subdue the forces of the enemy.  Cover us Oh God and help us to be effective as we live for you, as we share you with our world. 

Happy Birthday Benny I love you

James 5:16

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

The Reality and The Responsibility

The reality... is that I am human. Ha! you might say....Well I am. I work nights and I went to sleep about 830 am yesterday. The Responsibility...By noon I was awake. I was kinda surprised that when I woke up it was to find that my pillow was soaked. Not from some liquid which I had spilled but it was from tears. I found myself crying once again for my children and the city of Anniston. This feeling won't last forever but for now it is necessary. Lord please help me to be an instrument and help me to do whatever I can to win someone to you. Help me I pray to be molded by your will. Help me to reach the place where I can in all sincerity say Not my will but thine.

Psalms 34:18

   The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

 

Prayer and Fasting

Prayer and Fasting

Fasting hurts. It is not fun or glamorous. It makes you cry and feel weird, it can even cause many other feelings to emerge but the feeling desired by fasting is a closeness to God. Fasting is no good without prayer. If you fast without prayer you are literally just going without food. In the Bible you find many examples of fasting, today it is the same and has the same effect. It makes you humble at which point it makes you want to pray which in return gets God's attention. A depth in prayer can be reached during fasting which can not be reached in any other way. Can we pray without fasting...Of course we can. Does God hear us? Of course he does. Does he answer our prayers if we just pray...Certainly he does and it is a good thing because many people do not fast. Let me interject that some people may desire to fast but for health reasons they can not. When someone is admitted to the hospital if they are very sick the doctor will order NPO...nothing by mouth. Yes even to those who are diabetic.  OUCH...Here is my disclaimer...I am not asking you to fast. Do seek a doctors advice before fasting. But if you are like me some spiritual things are more important than issues which may arise from fasting. I will enter into it at my own risk and that is what I advise you to do...Enter into fasting at your own risk knowing that your body will suffer. If you don't believe me just skip breakfast, and then dinner trust me you will think your throat has been cut.  

When you endeavor on a fast you do not need to tell those around you that you are fasting. Some will pick up on it just because they notice that you are not eating. I don't think is is wrong to answer their questions in honesty but sometimes you can simply answer by saying I just don't want anything right now. It is true because your spirit hungers for holiness and a in depth walk with God. 

I share this with you only as an example and I don't think there is enough out there about this tender subject. I used to fast at least three days a week. I have been on three day fast,a seven day fast,a twenty one day fast which I failed at, and one time in my life I did fast 40 days. Did I lose weight yes of course but that was not at all the purpose as it is not the purpose now. I desire a move of God. I desire to see revival and most of all I want to see my children saved. I have a son who does not attend church anywhere. I have a daughter who only fleetingly thinks of God and then my other daughter does go to church and just needs to be in a deeper place in her walk with God. Why do I have a right to say this....well mainly I have the right because I am their mother who took them to church when they were young. Who tried to teach them about God and who prays for them daily. There is nothing in this life of equal importance. Did I fail them I think so. When they were growing up their dad did not go to church with us so they would beg to stay home with him instead of attending church. Without fail every Sunday they would come to me with the pleas "Mom do we have to go today" to which I would always answer "You don't have to go you get to go". That is still the way I feel today. Living for God is not a chore it is a privilege. It is an honor if you are chosen to be in service for the King of Kings. Is going to church important. Yes...You need to read the word of God but you also need to hear it. Back to fasting....Start small give up one meal...then two...then a whole day...24 hours then let God speak to you because I promise you will be speaking to him. Pray and when you pray..pray for me.....

If you want to turn your world upside down then fast....

Luke 2:37 - And she [was] a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served [God] with fastings and prayers night and day.

Mark 9:29 - And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.

Matthew 6:16 - Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Matthew 6:1-34 - Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.   (Read More...)

Acts 13:3 - And when they had fasted and prayed, and laid [their] hands on them, they sent [them] away.

Mark 2:18 - And the disciples of John and of the Pharisees used to fast: and they come and say unto him, Why do the disciples of John and of the Pharisees fast, but thy disciples fast not?

Joel 2:12 - Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye [even] to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning:

Daniel 10:3 - I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.

Daniel 9:3 - And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes: